A BIT UPSET??? NAAAAHHH!!! I’M MORE THAN UPSET!
It was 3 am in the morning when we arrived at home from Mama’s and Nanay’s Double Birthday Celebration in Satwa. I was so tired and exhausted from being awake for almost 1 ½ day!
From home, Kuya Jonald is in our room mingling with Ate Carol and Ross which caused us to be awake for another hour!
In between, my cousin came to our room and had a little conversation with me about life. I know my cousin whenever he gets drunk, he can do everything he wants and can be much emotional! And as a drunk person, I believe that most of the words you’re telling were TRUE!
At start of the conversation, I knew that I am not the one he needed to talk to, it is Ross. And I knew, through me, he can easily find a way to talk to Ross but I didn’t give him any chance to open up whatever purposes he has as to personal reason.
Anyways, conversation doesn’t take too long as he saw me sleepy and not interested in whatever topics he brings up but what I know, in that conversation, he made me feel upset.
Friday, I received a text from Itay Del asking if we can pick him up in the airport at 12 am. Since, it is 12 am and we got lot of time. We planned our time in going some places which turn out to have lots of surprises! (Click for here for more stories!)
One of the places we went to is in my Auntie’s place in Karama. G and I visited her. We stayed for a while and leave the house with the same feeling that I had after talking to my cousin.
Exactly 00.15, we arrived in the airport. While waiting, I suddenly burst out “Talagang maliit lang ang Dubai...” considering that Dubai have a lot of places to go.
I saw an individual that I wasn’t expecting to see in the arrival section of the airport, and honestly, I got intimidated in seeing her! Praying that she will not see me coz I know if she saw me, I bet, she will laugh at me and insult me in front of my friends.
Anyway, Itay arrives and we spend 2 hours more with him.
Today morning, while sitting in front of my PC, thinking why these things happening, I can’t really find any answers. I knew from myself that I am comfortable with my style, the way I dressed, the way I carry myself in front of the other people. But from the time my Cousin told me that I am totally different, haggard, and in bad shape, where in my Auntie finds it as well, and seeing that girl in the airport, made me so uncomfortable and insecure!
I used to tell myself that THIS IS WHAT I AM. THIS IS WHERE I AM COMFORTABLE WITH. But because of those comments I’ve heard, I lost my esteem. I lost my confident and I lost my trust in myself. I feel so ugly, dirty and even don’t have the guts to face people surrounds me.
Lots of questions spinning on my head, lots of things going through my head. I don’t even know why I have to feel it this way. I’m having a dark, depressed and sadden mood today and I know it brings my confident low and down.
From home, Kuya Jonald is in our room mingling with Ate Carol and Ross which caused us to be awake for another hour!
In between, my cousin came to our room and had a little conversation with me about life. I know my cousin whenever he gets drunk, he can do everything he wants and can be much emotional! And as a drunk person, I believe that most of the words you’re telling were TRUE!
At start of the conversation, I knew that I am not the one he needed to talk to, it is Ross. And I knew, through me, he can easily find a way to talk to Ross but I didn’t give him any chance to open up whatever purposes he has as to personal reason.
Anyways, conversation doesn’t take too long as he saw me sleepy and not interested in whatever topics he brings up but what I know, in that conversation, he made me feel upset.
Friday, I received a text from Itay Del asking if we can pick him up in the airport at 12 am. Since, it is 12 am and we got lot of time. We planned our time in going some places which turn out to have lots of surprises! (Click for here for more stories!)
One of the places we went to is in my Auntie’s place in Karama. G and I visited her. We stayed for a while and leave the house with the same feeling that I had after talking to my cousin.
Exactly 00.15, we arrived in the airport. While waiting, I suddenly burst out “Talagang maliit lang ang Dubai...” considering that Dubai have a lot of places to go.
I saw an individual that I wasn’t expecting to see in the arrival section of the airport, and honestly, I got intimidated in seeing her! Praying that she will not see me coz I know if she saw me, I bet, she will laugh at me and insult me in front of my friends.
Anyway, Itay arrives and we spend 2 hours more with him.
Today morning, while sitting in front of my PC, thinking why these things happening, I can’t really find any answers. I knew from myself that I am comfortable with my style, the way I dressed, the way I carry myself in front of the other people. But from the time my Cousin told me that I am totally different, haggard, and in bad shape, where in my Auntie finds it as well, and seeing that girl in the airport, made me so uncomfortable and insecure!
I used to tell myself that THIS IS WHAT I AM. THIS IS WHERE I AM COMFORTABLE WITH. But because of those comments I’ve heard, I lost my esteem. I lost my confident and I lost my trust in myself. I feel so ugly, dirty and even don’t have the guts to face people surrounds me.
Lots of questions spinning on my head, lots of things going through my head. I don’t even know why I have to feel it this way. I’m having a dark, depressed and sadden mood today and I know it brings my confident low and down.
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